Having a relationship isn't that easy. Maybe you've watched bunch of love movies and read many love stories. Seems so simple right ? A boy met a girl, had a crush, got a problem, and finally live forever after. In usual cases, the storyline goes like that. Just see beauty and the beast, Cinderella, Shrek, Twilight, and so on. Yet in some cases too, there happens to have bad endings, just like Titanic. But for you readers that still have a mindset of love just like these stories, well your totally wrong. It's not that simple, too many complicated aspects inside.
What becomes a core problem in the relationship commonly are trust and empathy. How can you say like that ? Well trust takes a big role in here. When you trust your partner, you should believe that he/she only have you on their hearts as their partner. This trust stuff should come from both sides, so both keep believing each other but also loyal with their partners despite their given chance to make friends with anyone. This is thing seems easy, but believe me this is tremendously hard. Just imagine your partner having friends with their ex and having a slightly-close conversation, kick me if you're not jealous. In that term, usually you think the baddest scenario ever in your mind, and then you're afraid losing him/her. In here, you need that tool named trust, but both sides should be open of anything to their partners to maintain this trust.
Second tool, named empathy. This is what brings the essence of having a relationship itself. When you have a trust, but you don't have this empathy it hurts you deeply. Well here's the point, when your having a relationship with someone, you're not only having a relationship with him/her, but also his/her world. Friends, family, religion, and other surroundings. For an example, when your a christian and having a moslem partner, well soon or later you should deal by sacrificing your religion or your relationship. Another example, when your in a relationship, surely your partner would take advice from her closest surroundings besides you, this can be friends, or family. In here, you deal with their other precious people too. To make this simple, its just like your interested with something. You need you yourself to be interested with each parts of life of your partner. Of course, this is the essence of love itself. And again, you need this thing come from both sides. An essence of "relationship" is there when life is connected, side by side. It would be so painful if this thing only happens one sided, it's like loving someone deeply but they only take it and never show their empathy. Another important thing, the empathy tool itself should be controlled well. It would be annoying if every second, your partner is by your side (really besides you) despite you're having your college class, or playing only with your close friends. But towards these cases upon friends or family, well this disappears when you are close enough to them, but for activities there's no excuses. Moreover, there won't be any special moment if you meet your partner every single second (except your married, its a whole different case).
Well those both (trust and empathy) are two main elements in the relationship that should been there. whatever your partner type is (geek, bold, lonely, serious, etc), that thing should still stand. Just imagine if you have trust but don't have the empathy, means that you trust your partner but you never know who he/she really is or how is he/she doing. Really awkward, and rarely happens. The relationship would be much fragile if it had the empathy but don't have the trust. It means, the relationship are connected each other, but have high curiosity behind it. Its like the trust tool makes your relationship stronger and harder (the foundation) , and the empathy tool makes your relationship build higher (the building itself) . Another element that happens to be another core is a moment. This thing is not a tool that can be made by efforts (efforts may support moments happen), moment is more likely putted inside ingredient. Without the moment, your relationship would be plain, as plain as eating soup without salt. This moment ingredient isn't a compulsory thing that should be there on the very first place, it only occurs when a beneficial condition meets. This is like having a moment sitting around the hill, watching over the clouds, kissing together, and many other examples. This moment thing could be everything (bad, good, scary, etc), example of a scary one is like sitting both in the middle of the cemetery on midnight, or an example of a bad moment is when police came chasing and caught you both. Well, whatever the moment is, it's always leaves scars in form of stories that makes your relationship much more colorful. This is also a reason why long relationship are reluctant to break up. Also this moment thing also builds up feeling to miss each other. See on long distance relationship (LDR) that really never met yet, but had trust and empathy still cant miss each other because even a single moment is between them both.
Trust, empathy, and moments. Those 3 things are the main thing of having a relationship, wether the relationship was good or bad. Sorry for being so knowledgeably, it's because I've been having a relationship and these problems occurs. But despite every single problem with her, I'm thankful for having her and I do really love her. If you think there is something wrong with this post, please let me know as soon as possible. Thank you for reading.
@albert_karwur
3 March 2013
No comments:
Post a Comment